For the Better

I have lived through most of my life thinking that everything falls into place naturally. I was a person who thought that misfortunes that happened to other people could never happen to me. In school, I would pass classes easily even though I did not do a lot of homework or study for tests. I did not care about trying too hard because in the end, things ended up working out in my favor. I stuck with this mindset all the way from middle school to high school. I thought that nothing could go wrong, just keep doing the minimum and still be successful. I assumed that I can get into any college that I wanted as long as I met the requirements to submit the application and that all my other peers who did extracurricular activities like volunteering and joining clubs were trying too hard. I said to myself a lot, “Why are they putting themselves through this? Most likely we will all get accepted into whatever school we want.” I believed that college would not be hard to get into since so many kids go straight from high school. My ignorance soon died off when I checked my student portal that evening in March.

            The day I received my decision from Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, was just like any other day. I was not even anticipating school admissions decisions. It had been so long since I applied that I forgot that I was supposed to be waiting for their answer. I went to school early as usual to have time to hang out for a little while with my group of friends. The conversation that day was filled things like, “Did you hear (insert name) got accepted into (prestigious university)” or “I cannot believe (so-and-so) got in”.  I was idly listening to them talk as I was trying to finish the homework from the night before. Then I switched my focus when they mentioned that Gema Torres, a close acquaintance, got into my first choice school. I stopped my pencil and sat still. My mind was then analyzing my chances of also getting an acceptance. I compared myself to her and honestly, I felt that if she could get in, I could too. Actually, I thought I had a better chance than her to get accepted since I earned higher grades than her, but that was all I had against her. She told me later that she was active in sports and did different things outside of school too.  The rest of the school day went by slowly because all I could think about was what will the decision to my application will be. 

            Right after school I rushed home and ran straight to my computer. I had this feeling that I got in for sure. It is like one on those times when you just know. You do not have any facts or evidence, but you just have a strong belief. I was a little anxious as I logged into my student account on the Cal Poly website. My palms were sweaty; it could have from the hot weather or just me, but I did not care. I was focused on the bright computer screen. I clicked submit to view my application status and my eyes immediately caught those words that no applicant wants to read. We are sorry to say that… I just looked down and stared at my keyboard for a while. I had a moment of “what just happened?” and I checked the monitor again to grasp the reality of it all. I got up out of my chair and fell onto my bed. I just wanted to sink into my mattress. I stared up at the white ceiling and ran ideas through my head of what I should have done differently to change this outcome. What I thought was only 10 minutes of lying down and moping, was actually an hour. I tried my best not to think about what was really bothering me. I failed. There was also feeling that I let my parents that I could not shake off.  I thought I had it all planned out. Whenever my parents told me to stop playing games and study I would always respond by telling them to stop worrying because I know how to handle things. Do well in school and go to college. That is what I have been told, so I thought that it would be enough, but it obviously wasn’t enough. Even though I still made it into a few other schools I was still mad at the fact that I was not able to make it into my first choice.

I spent the next two days being sorry for myself. I would not show it though because I do not like people to feel pity for me. The whole experience was a wakeup call for me. I had to rethink my priorities. I remembered calling people lucky when they got their acceptances, but they were not lucky, they just worked hard to ensure they reached their goals. They wanted something and so they reached for it. I wanted something and I hoped to get it. I told myself I did not want to go through anything like that again.

            Since the moment I got the disappointing news, I wanted to have another chance at it. I did not settle for any other school that accepted me. I never felt the need to challenge myself and go above the minimum requirement. I took Cal Poly’s rejection as my first, real challenge in life.  I knew what I wanted and I was willing to actually work for it. The first step for me was to go and apply to a community college. I have been told by my friends that a lot of students become lazy in a community college because it is supposedly more laid back than a university. I just shrugged of their comments because I had something to keep me on track. I became determined to redeem myself

I carry that moment, when I realized that life is not laid out to you on a silver platter, with to this very day. I believe that my experience turned out to have a positive effect on my life. Instead of dwelling on my failure forever and using it as an excuse to not put myself out in the world, I learned from it to ultimately become more mature. I do not think about that event every day in my life, but what it had taught me always comes into play when I am faced with a difficult situation in my life so I can learn how to change myself for the better.

Marriage

Whether we decide to wed or not, the topic of marriage will eventually be on our minds. Marriage has changed a lot since when our parents got married. According to “The Marriage Crisis”, by Aja Gabel, only half of Americans are married now compared to the 72 percent in 1960. The decrease in the rate of marriage is caused by the social and economic changes in America.

            Women are now working more than in the 1970s. Back then, marriage was like a business partnership. The husband provided financial support and the wife provided housework and child care. These days, more women are pursuing careers. They do not a have financial need for a partner. Women have more control over whether to become a mother or to earn higher wages. This has caused women today to think less about marriage with money on their mind and instead, with their hearts.

            Marriage may be on the decline, but there are more couples that live with each other today than ever before. This could be linked to the idea that couples are afraid to get married. Professor Robert Emery states that the high divorce rate has partly caused the decline in marriage. Couples feel less secure in the idea of committing to each other and staying in a lasting relationship. Cohabitation is their alternative to being married without the fear of divorce.

            Even though the success rate of a marriage is falling, I believe that marriage is still alive and strong in America. I can only speak from a personal experience. To my knowledge, my parents, aunts, uncles,  and grandparents all have a happy relationship. Whenever I see them together they are always smiling and kind. They are the role models in my life and one day I hope I can get what they have. They are my proof that a marriage can last.

            I think that marriage is still part of our social fabric. It is good that it is there because two people making a committment to each other is beautiful thing. It may sound cheesy, but faithfulness would not be a bad idea to pass down to our children. Marriage also teaches how to care for another person. I think that this is an important because studies show that people get their happiness from helping others. So essentially, in a marriage, you help each other be happy and isn't that what everyone wants?

            In Natalie Rivera's student essay, the idea of temporary marriages gets thrown into the air. Couples get to choose how long they want stay married for. It was an idea proposed to slow down the increasing rate of divorce and to free couples from the hassle of the divorce process. It is like a trial to see if a couple likes marriage. I do not agree with this idea. Even though it releases some pressure of committment, it voids the purpose of getting married in the first place. If couples doubt their chance their chance of staying together then they should just wait. I believe that marriage, as is stated in the vows, should last til death parts them.

           

                                                                 

Kevin.

        These days I just go by Kevin; no cool nickname or title and I am perfectly fine with that. My full name is Kevin Hung Truong and it derives from Vietnam and the USA. My parents thought I would have an easier life in America with a name like all the other kids, but they also wanted to stick to their roots. I like how they decided to choose my name and I plan to do the same for my children one day. I was not named after anyone and I am the only person named Kevin in my family. When I was younger I used to think that my Vietnamese name, Hung, meant Kevin. I then realized that Kevin means nothing more than Kevin, a name, and so that idea probably applied to Hung as well. Within my family, only the older relatives that only spoke Vietnamese knew me as Hung and to the rest of the world, I was known as Kevin.

        Back in elementary school, I told my friends my Vietnamese name and they got a good laugh off because it sounded funny to them. I told them, they laughed and said, "Really? What was it again?" and more laughter followed. It was the first time I felt ashamed for having my name. I was being ridiculed for something I had no control over and should not have any reason to feel bad for in the first place. For that reason, from elementary school to freshman year of high school, I did not tell anyone my Vietnamese name and if they asked I would casually change the subject. It took me awhile to grow up and realize that I have nothing to be embarrassed of. I finally realized that if I believed that my name was funny then other people would think that my name was funny too.So I decided to just change my mindset and just told it to people if they were curious to know without having a hushed tone and my eyes staring at the ground. I felt more confident in myself. It seems like a small achievement, but it was an important moment in my life because I believe it was a stepping stone to me becoming more mature.

         As far as my knowledge goes, Kevin Hung Truong does not give me any clues about my heritage. I tried to do some research on Ancestry.com, but I had to give credit information that I did not have and so that ended my campaign to find my family history. When I was in high school I was asked if I had a chance to change my name, what it would be. I answered that I would not change anything about my name because there is no reason for change. If it is not broken, do not fix it. I learned a lot from my name about just being myself and not being affected by what other people say or do to put me down.